If you’ve been married recently (or have been married at all!), right after you get married, you know what I mean when I say you start getting asked THE Question. You get asked from friends and family, people at church, co-workers, and even random people at the store! If still you’re unsure of what THE Question is, I’ll go ahead and tell you. It’s the dreaded (or not-so dreaded) “When are y’all gonna have kids?”
I definitely started getting asked THE Question right after I got married. Josh and I had decided when we got married that we would like to start talking about kids around year three or four go from there. Well, we got to summer of 2011 (3.5 yrs after being married) and decided we weren’t quite ready for a kid. Our conversation went something like this:
“Are you ready?”
“Are you ready?”
“Okay. We’ll talk about it again next year.”
So we waited until summer of 2012 to talk about it again and decided we wanted to wait a little longer. That fall, we celebrated our 5th anniversary and both felt ready to be parents. We prayed about it and decided we would go for it! We expected/hoped it to take maybe three or four months to get to get pregnant. Well, let’s just say we were both very surprised when ONE month later we got pregnant with Levi! So just like that, we were having a baby come September 2013!
As a Christian, I truly believe that God has a perfect plan for my life (and everyone’s for that matter). I know that His good and perfect will will guide my life and the direction of it. The fact that we got pregnant so easily with Levi makes me know that God wanted us to have Levi; not another child I could have gotten pregnant with that month or even a different month, but LEVI. My Levi. He was put on this Earth by the Lord to be my child and me to be his mother. I am so thankful for that! The child I get pregnant with August is a completely different one than the one I get pregnant with in October or next May. That perfect child the Lord has for our family just isn’t quite ready to be yet.
And that promise and reminder has been what has helped me get through the past 8 months. See, THE Question never goes away really. Once you have that first baby, THE Question comes up again, but this time, it’s “when are you going to have another one?” And when your kid is almost two and you haven’t made any announcements of another baby, people start to ask what your plans are. Not only family and friends, but random strangers once again.
Our road has been very different in trying to grow our family this time around. Unlike last time with Levi, we didn’t get pregnant the first month of trying, or the second, or the third. That expectation/hope of getting pregnant (with Levi) of three or four months? That came and went back in March; and here we are 8 months later still waiting. I’ve had random strangers tell me I need to “get on that” and “get my son a sibling” before he gets old and the age gap gets too big. I have had people I know personally tell me I should “work on getting a playmate for Levi” all while we have been trying to get pregnant again. Let me tell you, that’s been fun. Those first few months, I kept quiet about it. But more recently, I have told people we have been trying and ask for their prayers in adding to our family.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say that it wasn’t hard waiting and that I haven’t had my share of tears or frustration; but I will say that my perspective on God’s perfect child for my family has been one of the biggest things that has brought me comfort and peace during this time of waiting. I share this, because when I tell people my thought process, many of them tell me they’ve never thought of it that way before. I hope that this perspective can give a peace or help ladies out there dealing with infertility or second infertility. I’m not officially dealing with second infertility yet (it’s considered second infertility once you hit a year mark of trying to have a baby), and please hear me when I say I don’t know the struggle of infertility- those Mama’s out there who waited years or are still waiting; but I do understand the desire to have a child and that desire not be met quite yet.
I adore my Levi with all of my heart and could not imagine another kid better suited for me or our family. His personality, his laughter, everything about him is just perfect for us. If we had somehow gotten pregnant a month before, I would have a different child right now. Of course, I would love them just as much and wouldn’t know anything of the Levi I didn’t have; but it makes me so thankful that the Lord saw fit to bless us with him. I am thankful that OUR Levi was born into OUR family; and hopefully one day I will be thankful for another child to be born into our family and I will know that God had a perfect plan in having us wait for that specific child.
Be on the lookout next week as I share some more of my journey and some Bible verses that have gotten me through this time of waiting and trusting the Lord. I hope this real and raw post has helped at least one lady out there!